Relationships: Mindsets in Love (or Not)

It doesn’t mean there is no “they lived happily ever after,” but it’s more like “they worked happily ever after”.

Very often, before we find our second half, we are rejected and wounded. But it depends on our mindset, whether we plunge into despair, or learn from and enter into the next relationship with that new experience, knowledge, and changes that we have made through our breaking up. Every relationship teaches us what is important to us. It is extremely important to forgive, not to live in the past, and to find new happiness.

People with a fixed mindset most often think that ideal love does not require effort. If it is difficult, it means it is not that person. This kind of thinking is the most destructive belief in a relationship.

We can not expect that our partner will read our mind. The relationship needs clear communication.

Love without effort is a doomed relationship, not a great relationship. People with a fixed way of thinking, when they see defects in their partner, move it into the whole relationship, which is also flawed. People with the growth mindset still think that the relationship is fine.

In the fixed mindset, they have to confront the idea that, if there are problems, it means that someone is guilty. The blame is put on ourselves, our partners’, or on the relationship. The growth mindset allows us to accept flaws as a part of the person and the relationship, work on them, communicate, and to move on

Rejection and judging happen not only in love but also in schools in the form of bullying. Bullies are examples of people with fixed mindsets. They want to be seen as cool, powerful, or funny by demeaning others. We can protect ourselves by knowing that the problem is in themselves - their self-confidence is very weak. We have to focus on our good attitudes and forgive them, as they have the problem with themselves.

Actions to take

Principles to follow