“As Freud once said, ‘One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.’”
Picture the concept of self-awareness as a physical onion with many layers. Becoming self-aware is a process of peeling those layers away to reveal what is underneath. To be self-aware, you must identify and understand the emotions you feel, and characterize your personal values that drive these emotions.
Often, we suffer because we do not live up to the expectations we set for ourselves. These set expectations are based on the personal values we hold. For example: if you value loyalty, you may expect yourself to stay loyal to a boss who overworks you with the hopes of climbing the ladder at that company. When you peel back the layers of the self-awareness onion, you will understand that your value of loyalty, and not your difficult boss, is the root of your suffering. The only way to stop suffering this way is to alter what you value and expect from yourself.
Confronting your inner self is not an easy task; But once you do it, you will gain fresh insight on why you have the problems. This will then help you come up with effective solutions for solving them.
Differentiate between good and bad values.