Kristen Ulmer challenges norms around the subject of fear.
She said that this habit changed her life the most in the last five years. She worked with many people doing this exercise, and she noticed that it is powerful. It resolves many problems like insomnia, depression, PTSD, and anger.
Instead of practicing only gratitude, forgiveness and peace, try to communicate with your fear. It is trying to tell you something important, and you cannot ignore it forever. It may set you free.
First, locate the fear in your body; sometimes it’s in your jaw or shoulders, sometimes in your forehead.
Then, do this three-step process:
Spend 15–30 seconds affirming that it’s natural to feel discomfort.
You should be scared when you are doing big things. Acknowledging this can be life-changing.
Spend the next 15–30 seconds on understanding what your current relationship with this discomfort is.
If the anxiety is out of proportion to the situation or is irrational in any way, that means that you are ignoring fear, and therefore it speaks louder or acts out. If this is the case, ask what fear is trying to tell you that you didn’t acknowledge (e.g., “Write a new speech; the one you have sucks”).
Spend as long as it takes to feel it (usually 30–60 seconds).
Don’t try to get rid of it. Feel the emotion by spending some time with it. Fear, feeling acknowledged and heard, often dissipates.