Newton’s Third Law of Emotion: Your identity will stay your identity until a new experience acts against it.
Our identity is a network of value-based narratives—stories about the experiences that gave us positive or negative feelings. The longer we keep the story about any experience, the more fundamental it becomes for our identity and the harder it is to change due to the attached emotions. The Feeling Brain doesn’t know the difference between the past, present, and future. When we allow it to try new values and see what they feel like, the Feeling Brain gets accustomed to these new values and starts to believe in them.