“Often the only difference between a problem being painful or being powerful is a sense that we chose it, and that we are responsible for it.”
When you feel like you are choosing your problems, you will feel empowered. However, when you feel like your problems are out of your control, being forced upon you, and against your will, you will feel miserable.
It is not always possible to control what happens to you, but what you can control is how you perceive and respond to a situation. The same event can be good or bad, depending on how you choose to interpret it. The most important thing to remember is that YOU are responsible for interpreting and choosing how to respond to each and every event in your life.
You are always choosing, whether consciously or subconsciously. Ignoring a problem is a choice, just like how working towards solving it is another choice. When you feel like your problems are out of your control, it is because you have made subconscious choices that are making the problem worse.
For example, you may feel like your subpar looks are the reason you struggle to find a partner. In this case, you are subconsciously choosing to believe that looks are the only important thing when it comes to finding a partner. On the other hand, if you consciously choose to look for someone who likes you for who you are on the inside, you may just find what you are looking for.
Take responsibility for your life.
Abandon the values that lead you to problems that can hardly be solved.