Setting clear and appropriate boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t help or support the other person or that you’re not helped or supported yourself; it means that you choose to support and be supported. You aren’t being manipulated into it, and you aren’t manipulating them. This way, you will build a loving, caring, empowering relationship that will last.
Only take responsibility for problems and emotions that are yours.
Make it clear that you will not demand that your partner takes responsibility for problems and emotions that are not theirs, nor will you take responsibility for problems and emotions that are not yours.
Actively choose to support each other.
You should not support your partner because you feel obligated or entitled to do so. You should do it because you want to support them. Accept the support coming from them for the same reasons.